Monday, April 18, 2005

Monday rants - Sad ads

Again, the lack of a truly critical site or blog ripping apart the trash that we see between shows and during cricket matches is bewildering. I would have thought that there are enough people in the industry who maintain blogs, but I am yet to find one where people rip this shit apart. Give you an example, at a party a few nights ago I met a guy from Rediff who first said that the Hutch ads were all stupid, well not all, but he did sy that they were over-rated and the Airtel ads were under-rated. How, I asked him can anyone like that carppy Airtel ad where that psychotic woman is laughing like a madwoman when her boyfriend tries his hand at flying, and tell me you actually got a signal in the middle of a forest. I can't get a signal sometimes in JNU, well the really deep dark interior parts of JNU.
But then again, this is still better than most of the ads the Koreans have - save the decent ads that Hyundai manages to make once in a while. Only maybe the 'Tumse hai Zindagi' campaign by Grey for Samsung washing machines was watchable, the 'Team Samsung' ads are the worst ads to use Indian cricketers in a long time. Lets look at Sachin, the new TVS ad is whaaaaat??? New colour, show Sachin with painted face, so? Lets not even start on Pepsi.
But, lets now go to my favourite bugbear - auto ads. The current Fusion 'comparison' print ad is so selective, it is not funny. But the 'Anything Karega' TV ad is worse, imagine putting a car on a raft made of dead wood, a car that weighs in at 1200kg. Hmm... And though the Fusion is great to drive from a drivers point of view, it is sucky in terms of 'Anything offroad'. That said, JWT has created some decent adverts for Ford in the past, other than the cars flipping in shame advert of early 2003, which was by far and away the worst car advert to date.
No, maybe not. Maybe that title should go to Jagdish Khattar's Maruti Udyog. And particularly the 'new Zen' campaign of last year. The one with sluttish looking Eastern European chick (you can get non sluttish looking Eastern European women also, y'know) and the Zen is the stalker. I don't know what was worse - having a woman looking like a streetwalker of having a stalker. This wasn't 'Jack the Ripper', this was 'Zen the Ripper'. Oh, and now there is the new advert for the 'new Esteem' - what is very new about a fifteen year old car I really do not know, I mean it is still as cramped as it was when they launched the body shape in 1994 with the old Maruti 1000. 'The only car that makes you feel like a King', huh???? And there are the Alto radio spots, oh god, those are times you wished you rotated your CD's more often or there was a regulatory authority for radio adverts. Again, Maruti is saved by some fairly decent advertising - like the little surdie kid advert. Damn cool.

(Talking of radio adverts what the hell should be done about Amitabh Bachchan voice-alikes, this mad obsession with deep voices is frustrating - have you heard 'Gaursons the most trusted name in construction' ad, argh)
But, lets get back to auto ads. Mobike ads are classic too. Just look at the old ones - from 2002 - mind you and you'll see no helmets in the ad, but that has changed now. The new TVS Star ad on riders being socially responsible looks like a 2-wheeler version of the Sumo Victa ad (never ever buy a Sumo, if you don't have a lower back problem trust me two weeks in the Sumo will give you one). The advert with the most airplay is for the new Hero Honda 'Super Splendor' - listen Hero Honda doesn't need to advertise much - that said this ad, though sad and bad is a gadzillion times better than the initial Hero Honda Ambition advert, or even the Hero Honda Karizma (now, it is pronounced KA-RIZZMA like in Pizza or so Pawan Munjal - corporate dresser extrodinare announced at the launch) ad featuring Mr Mutant Roshan, going faster than a Supermarine Scimatar (I know the plane too, see I'm smart). Firstly, I've driven the Karizma, and can assure you that if the plane flew at the top speed of that bike it would stall and fall to the ground. That aside, what the hell is the obsession with planes and bike ads. First there was the Karizma, then the LML Freedom and now the Bajaj Discover DTSi. All incidentally shot in South Africa. No wonder South African Airways has a daily flight now.
Anyway, enough of this rant. I'll have to clear my itsy-bitsy articles before I head off for gym. Next post from home.

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