Friday, June 17, 2005

TV Today getting f***ed!

The Punjabi who owns TV Today - and thus the wonderfully sharp and fast channels Aaj Tak and Headlines Today, must be a very worried man. You see while NDTV goes from strength to strength, at least on the profits front, TV Today's abysmal results are mind-boggling. The Punjabi is more scared now then he was when faced with India Today's rapidly declining readership. According to the numbers donated to us by the Stock Bourses - TVTN's net profits are down from Rs 32 crore to Rs 16 crore, and net incomes rose only one crore to Rs 140 crore. The TV news ad-pie increased by some Rs 200 crore to Rs 500 crore this year, yet TVTN - 'Sabse Tez' was totally wrong-footed by the half-Bong and the other (limping) Punjabi. NDTV and TV18 have increased revenues substantially. And yet, even after these results, even more news channels want to come into the fray, with even more dubious ownership.
The first, and biggest in this case - is Jain and Jain Comapny Limited's venture into TV. We've seen how Zoom TV promotes half-witted celebs and models with 38C cups who can't speak either Hindi or English into the limelight - sort of. Now, we will see half-witted wannabe journos who might not know English (for proof read any day's ET) who will give you the news. After TVTN's results I'ld be worried, because I honestly believe that there is only TV media organisation worth its salt in this country - that of the half-Bong's. OK, so Prannoy has handed over all his shares to his daughter Tara, but still after losing Rajdeep they have held their flock very well, and Rajdeep is (according to the grapevine) pissed that none of his NDTV chela's (other than his driver apparently) left with him. I've never seen Vishnu and P Siddy happier, I believe they are getting great salary increases.
Talking of salary increases - where the fuck is mine?
No wonder the Punjabi is losing his best anchors and ad-sales people, because he don't pay them (and according to friends there has even cut down the late night drop-off's due to cost cutting). The loss of editorial people has also begun, and the riff-raff is staying behind. The riff-raff mind you are the types who would consider a dog getting run over in the parking-lot to be a huge story (no offense to dog lovers) but these guys recently slept through the first hour of the Advani melodrama, which like it or not was newsy. Even Chautala's Total TV had it on before them, I was just surfing, I don't watch TV News usually. Any Channel. They are all as bad.
I noticed the latest Tehelka, which, incidentally has launched a scathing attack on Sudheendra Kulkarni. Hmmm, Kulkarni is being made into a Rasputin (Advani as Czar Nicolas II?) over here, but the truth is that he really had nothing to do with this. According to a top-BJP functionary and a man close to Advani, the reason given for Advani's Pakistani misadventure and subsequent melodrama - Senility. This person is, well, fairly close to me and I have no reason to doubt him. And it fits into my BJP going senile theory.
Now back to the exciting dynamics of the Indian Washing Machine market! Yea!
PS : On a personal note, things are back to normal, somewhat, and I am feeling good because I heard some decent news. But today is chill with Mommy day!

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hear today evening's meeting where the Poorie sits in, was canned.

Bonatellis said...

i like the limping punjabi one ... didn't know of it till I met him the other day :-)

Anonymous said...

You obviously have a strong bias against the Punjabi (sic). But you refer to the Bong by his name. Your parochial mindset is evident. Pray tell us what you are??

K said...

I am very Parochial.. Have to be proud of Bongness na!

Anonymous said...

Hey bong journo...heard the news that there are plans afoot to outsource begging to Waste Bengal and Bungledesh? Proud of that, too, I bet.
Maa go, macchar jhol kabo...ak poise dao go...but too narrow-minded to do international fakiri!!
And there was this comment, many years back, from a Bong tourist to Punjab - in Punjab even a beggar eats ap-pul (read that as apple).
That is the difference between a Bong and a Punju.
Want more....?? you are a Waste of time actually!

Anonymous said...

During the Kargil war NDTV (like others) was collecting donations for the war. Among the list of those killed and those who donated were a number of Punjabis. But Bongs were too shit scared not only to fight at the front but also to donate money!!
The truth hurts, huh?
You are a f****** bore, too.

Indira said...

This 'anonymous' one is obviously one of those bongs who hate all other bongs and make a virtue of having left the bong fold. Hey K, why don't you just kick this UF(f***ing)O out of your blog.

Indira said...

This 'anonymous' one is obviously one of those bongs who hate all other bongs and make a virtue of having left the bong fold. Hey K, why don't you just kick this UF(f***ing)O out of your blog.

chipmunk said...

hey anon, it actually boils down to core competency. punjabis have brawn so they fight, bongs have brains so they strategize! we can't help it if we are a few steps ahead of the evolutionary ladder!
k, sorry about an anonymous comment but i don't want this creepy person following me around!

Anonymous said...

The warning bells were sounded long ago when Dr. Hargobind Khorana (whom in no way can you claim as a Bengi) won the Noble Prize. Chipmunk - his name says it all about where he is on the evolutionary ladder - still believes in the myth of Bong cultural superiority. By the way, Kalpana Chawla was also not a brainy Bongy, but a brainy as well as courageous Punjabi. About strategizing – the Bungledesh war was led by a Punjabi soldier. A Bong commander (if there are any) shits in his pants when he hears the name of Pakistan – he won’’t have the courage to think, leave alone strategize.

You live in a fool’s paradise. Not only is the modern Punjabi, but also the modern Marathas, South Indians et al, good game for your boring, Rabindra-Sangeet-oriented brain. Bangalore, India's Silicon Valley, is not in Waste Bengal ! If your brains were really superior, the IT-revolution (and not a much-fantasized Commie revolution) would have been there. Bongs don't have the brain to understand that Communism has failed - they are one amongst a few communities which continue to drag the country down. What value your brains, assh***?!

I have punctured a good many Bong egos, which is a good thing. Bringing ugly creepos to the ground! The British aren’t around to pamper the Bangali Babus since quite some time now. And if you go back in history before the Muslim invasions, the people you tend to look down upon were way ahead of Banga-Gauda.

I am not here to teach history, but my objective has been served. A parting shot - if Bongs were all that brainy, why are they ever so BORING? Hahaha !!

Anonymous said...

Uh…uh. I’m back with a postscript only but I bet you guys are cringing in your soiled and stupid dhotis.

I’m back to tell “indira” that why the hell would I want to be identified as a Bong…the image of Bong’s outside their jungle is that of Commies, beggars and whores. Waste Bengal and Bungledesh have exported beggars and whores to all corners of the country.

Begging and whoring must require a lot of brains though…hahaha !! – evolved brains at that !! Hey dumbkoff…I’m being sarcastic here…stating the obvious for stupid brains like yours.

Wake up, for this is your image outside your monkey jungle !!

Bye, bye…I’ve done good here and don’t have time to keep following any assh**** around.

chipmunk said...

i don't want to list out bong achievements because they are way too many, so let's not even argue about that. and we may be commies but we treat our women better than you north indian SOBs! what modern punjabis are you talking about, those who go for ultra scans to abort female children or those who rape and humiliate women?
and since you are pressed for time i will not go on anymore, just check this out http://www.definitelymale.blogspot.com/ and you will know why punjabis are scum!

chipmunk said...

and listen you stinking piece of shit, here is my parting shot to your unimaginative one: we are happy living in the monkey jungle, at least that is closer to nature and we don't care two hoots about what some pea brained punjabi hulk thinks of us! on a more serious note you get your blood checked for pesticides or even the couple of greats that you mentioned will be hard to come by!

Colin said...

hahahaha... fantastic...adult journalist discussion....


thank god im not a bong or a punju..and give it a rest will ya..this topic was started just after independance by probably a few follically and testically challenged pseudo intellectual parties on both sides of the Gangetic plain...how the fuck does any of this matter any more....

since we're on the subject: my two cents:
* Both love to eat
* Both love music
and ive seen quite a few bongs who are as batty over Bacchus as most surds/punjus i know...

on the other hand ive seen a fair share of both Bong chuts and punju chuts....

If you're going to go on about what Bengal has done for the country vis-a-vis Punjab, (or vice versa) thats amazingly selfish to discount what the rest of the country has done...
If you're forgetting, you're both from the same damn country...insular xenophobia pisses me off no end...

PS: saw a fiat millicento in the morning on the way to work with a WB02 6589 plate with a surd driving...

K said...

OK, I agree with Colin here that there are Bong chuts and there are Punju chuts, lots of them. I know many of both types. Listen, for a guy who grew up in Delhi I'm pretty much as much Punju as Bong. Awful fucking combo, I know. Only major difference - Fish vs Chicken, frankly I prefer chicken. Anyway, the point here wasn't about Bongs and Punju's, lets not even get started on that. But first, a point you raised... SN Bose died before they gave him a Nobel, and he is only one of two Indians to have a physical effect named after him, the other CV Raman also died before he got a Nobel, as you are aware the award isn't given posthumously. Secondly, Khurana, changed his citizenship unlike either of two named above, and would list these two men as inspirations, Khurana might be Punju, but he won the prize as a Yankee, and that my friends is worse. Anyway, point here is about ONE particular Punju media owner, who is a kanjoos bastard. Guess who he is. And anyway, why do you hide behind anonymous anyway? That just defeats your arguments.