Plantations

Every morning one scans the papers to see what is going on in the world - for example what Rahul Gandhi said today and how many people did he cuddle with (south of the Equator - maybe he will solve the non-racial racial issue in where the world is upside down by cuddling with racists). Also, we read of other interesting facts such as how a man with obvious signs of dementia is taken seriously by a media-whore. But then again the papers are full of media-whores or whores being media-whores (the supplements). So it has come to a point where I read agency news on the mobile web while on the pot. I actually took a MacBook with me into the loo the other day. I think that was a tad sad though, but at least I can filter the internet, most of the papers make no sense. Sainath says this better than me.
Then of course, one might read the financial papers and one in particular. Sorry to be such a skeptic, but some stories seem horribly inspired by one corporate group - you look at the byline and promptly understand whose PR is being done. I should keep a list now of aforementioned people - which byline means which corporate identity. I won't name names, lest I'm accused of being an 'agent' for a multitude of corporates, after all, I have drunk everyone's coffee and in some cases Diet Coke as well (try a Mentos with your Diet Coke the next time). Pity. the mainline papers talk about stuff I really don't want to know and the business papers talk about things that I ought not to know because they may not be true (but are occasionally). And if you put on the TV channels you get to see Tigerthons (there is one coming soon we hear - Greenathons promoted by car companies that can't make cars incidentally) and how blogging about Tiger conservation is going to help save the tiger.
I don't think that will stop the Chinese from eating fewer tigers though. The best solution would be for Indian conservationists buying Indian Viagra substitutes and sending them to China. After all, ground tiger bones are consumed because the Chinese want boners right? Don't they get them when they see Ziyi Zhang? But, you get my point I hope. Maybe.
Anyway, as my brains ooze out through my nose,a victim of global warming I'm sure, I will take your leave for now.

When I grow up...

I want to be an 'Independent Policy Analyst', because that is the same as being an armchair expert. Not that 'experts' sitting in the large ivory buildings (a former movie hall in South Delhi maybe?) are any better but least they talk to the source. Crap, man, this is almost as bizarre as this particular article I came across. Truly WTF. And I love the term 'bold' role for an actress. Showing skin isn't a sign of 'boldness' (or 'baldness'). Bold is either a Blackberry handset or it is publicly release a document full of mistakes and then blame western media antagonists when it all starts falling apart. And inadvertently, by screwing up, throwing climate change science into a funk. And thus making quite a few megabytes of science programming I've downloaded off the internet quite irrelevant. 'Bold' is not a two-bit actress (high-class escort, take your pick) showing skin, and anyway if you want to see skin watch MTV, not Hindi movies. Particularly not Hindi movies with half-plots. And then there was a TV Channel's sudden discovery of the Aghori's at the Maha-Kumbh yesterday. Pity, no-one watched an excellent (and I mean this, it really was) Zee News feature on the Aghori's a couple of years ago.
PS: Behen Mayawati, Crown Prince Rahulji - I know you both love sycophants particularly you, your Statueship and that you, your highness can operate ATM's. But please tell your supporters not to put signs extolling your virtues (alongside their horribly fugly faces) on highway signboards. Not everyone has a GPS-enabled phone with Google Maps that they can turn to tofigure out just how badly lost inside UP they are. Driving back from Corbett, I realised just how godawful the road between Garhmukteshwar and Hapur actually is, but then I hit Ghaziabad. If there is a war between India and Pakistan, I hope Pakistani missile accuracy means that Ghaziabad is blown off the world's surface - with a Ghazni missile. Strangely appropriate that will be though.

Sorry...

Nothing terribly exciting happening, though I'm hearing rumours of another high-level shift though I'm reliably told that this person, who has worked in the same place for over two decades keeps on making noises of moving every year during appraisal season. And doesn't speak Hindi. So.... Chandigarh may not be that great an idea.
Saw a very funny note at a friend's place last night - she stays in the M,N,O,P blocks of CR Park which recently lost a case and this has been extensively covered by EchTee. As such, I totally agree with the Delhi High Court, the residents are pissed because they are losing their shaadi ground and Puja Park. But, the residents and several other Bengalis in CR Park, and non-Bongs too (while CRP has a large proportion of Bengalis, most residents and house-owners today would possibly be non-Bong) are pissed because of this editorial in HT and most RWA's have sent notes (the one I read) to have a 'Protest March' and also boycott HT.
There isbizarre, and then there is bizarre. But all I would advise the RWA's to do is to get a better lawyer (Fire the guy who made the last ridiculous argument) and use a better argument. You really thought that people (I can bet that a Bengali wrote that Edit - I can even hazard a guess to whom) won't make fun of you after this? Really. It is even funnier than ITC suing UndieTV Profit.
Talking of UndieTV - I saw Imagine the other night featuring Rahul Sawant, I think. You know that show, "Who wants to marry a cokehead (proven) wifebeater (we know, but not quite proven)?" And if you thought Rahul Mahajan was a desperate twat, I the cows who chasing him, illierate cows I must add (I'm not trying to be sexist, but they're marrying a wifebeater , what else can you call such women?) take dumbness to a new level.
And one final thought on 'My Name Is Khan', I bloody well hope after all this noise the movie is good, because if it isn't it will be the biggest KLPD in Indian history. Fudge, I used KLPD in a sentence after years. And to think in school (the same one SRK went to) I used KLPD in every second sentence once upon a time. Oh well...

In other news...

The model that several media companies follow is unsustainable - none more so than Network 18 according to yet another article on the company by Money Life.
The Indian Express more than any other paper has been harping on about the Chatwal-Padma Bhushan case as if it is the only story in town. I've argued before, the man may not be a saint, but the Express' story uses the President's office to explain. Somehow, and I do not wish to denigrate the office of the President here - this was never explained by Rashtrapati Bhavan. But the attack is on Chatwal and the Express (for whatever reason) carries on and will use anyone and everyone they can find to justify the story. Even though everyone else cares more about Mumbai. Where it finally took the RSS, yes that same organisation that most TV journalists like climbing onto at every opportunity to stand up to the regionalism snake.
A snake that incidentally, nobody should ever forget the Congress unleashed. And today when Rahul Gandhi gets on a train, it becomes the only item of the day. Though, I must admit, a top politician getting on a local train gives a better understanding of the woes that Mumbaikars face - an improved suburban train system will help Mumbaikars more than some reserved jobs here and there. Anyway, just my two cents for now.

Guess who is back?

A little birdie, well a rather large birdie to be fair to the man, told me that Peter Mukerjea is back in India and all has been forgiven by everyone other than 'Mr Why-didn't-I-get-a-Gong'. The really interesting part of this small item of News is that no less than Uncle M himself has given him a new operation and that is to launch Fox News in India. Since this is a blog post and not a news piece I can use the term 'sources' freely - the new channel, with a history of hardly showing any news, or biased news at best - which will not make it any different than every other channel on Indian television - will be launched by end-2010. Of course, fat-arsed idiots will be licking their lips at the prospect of ripping someone else off (though it is a bad career move to rip Uncle M off) this 'supposed' new channel might also depart from the obvious by being a bit more right-wing than usual - and right-wing does not mean 'War, War, War!'
Now one can question whether India really needs another news channel - there are no conclusive numbers to show that being in the English general news category is remotely profitable. Every single channel in the space suffers from the 'paid news' syndrome. Print publications at least - well English print at least - puts out 'Consumer Connect Initiative' or 'Media Marketing Initiative' - you don't see that when channels go ga-ga promoting movies and the like. Indeed, this interesting nugget in Money Life makes you wonder how viable the media is in general. And in India, the iPad will hardly be a sudden White Knight. Ask any magazine that costs more than Rs 50.
PS: And as the debate about what journalists should do when confronted with a life or death situation, CNN's Anderson Cooper shows the way.

Padma controversy!

Unfortunately, this is not about who might be the father of Padma Lakshmi's baby, because honestly I don't have a clue. Though, I guess one can safely assume it isn't Baldie Rushdie (what is it with guys called Salman anyway?) This is more in reference to the controversy surrounding the Padma Bhushan awarded to Sant Singh Chatwal. After it seems a piece appeared in a paper (it seems the US publisher of the paper in question is a rival of Chatwal's and is miffed about the award) a senior Editor not in the employ of the said paper but today more of well, lets not go there, is equally miffed and claims that the award is an insult to the Padma awards. The BJP, which gave out its fair share of very dubious Padma awards during the NDA regime (one Padma Bhushan in particular) is backing the claim.
Sadly, this is what I think. The person, who will rail against blogs again, of this I'm pretty sure, has his claim stink of sour grapes. You know, vinegary and all. I'm sure Sant Singh Chatwal is no saint (but then again, nor is our Telecom minister) - but he does give access to the second-most important person in the US administration and well is a very influential NRI. Nobody claimed that the office of the President of India was sullied by the allegations against the current occupants husband? So the argument being put forward, and I would put money on the fact that a column this weekend will talk about this, is extremely facile. Just because you didn't get a gong, doesn't mean that you bong the gongs.
Just my two cents - and bong the gongs. Hah! I made a funny. I should also now get a book deal. Plus, from what I hear, Mr Chatwal is a rather vindictive man, and while most Padma Shri's might escape below the radar Padma Bhushan and Padma Vibhushan awardees are usually cleared at the highest levels. Hmmm.... There are several other interesting threads here.

Passing

Jyoti Basu died on Saturday. West Bengal died several years ago. I know that picking on a dead man is "unethical" and is in extremely poor taste. But, this is a slightly personal post. I was born in 1978 in Calcutta, a year after the Communists came to power. Several years after the exodus of Bengal's best and brightest began. And while I was born in Calcutta (but I will always, always treat New Delhi as my home, I've studied here, I've grown up here), my parents had already moved out of the city, my father ran away the first chance he got - it was the era when if you were in La Martinere, you went to St.Stephen's if you could not Presidency. Let me qualify this post, I am no student of contemporary Indian history (I'm a student of Literature - one who fails to see the point of a lot of poetry, fiction any day) but the Naxalbari movement was not much different from that of Pol Pot a couple of thousand miles to the south-east.
The country will celebrate Jyotibabu as a great leader. He ruled West Bengal with an iron grip - the ruse being that the Commies were 'democratically' elected. What people forget is how the CPI(M) cadre were, at least in large swathes of rural Bengal little different than the Stasi. Yes, the Communists liberated Bengal from the feudalism that still plagues parts of Northern India. You can argue about the rights and wrongs of land distribution (I reckon hundreds of acres of arable farmland have been lost to the furrows between fields) but in a country where 'Do Bigha Zamin' makes a difference, it was a big deal. The issues were never on the fields but in industry. As their brethren in China embarked on a 30 year journey towards the Olympic Games, Bengal's communists were retrograde. Industries in the state were not allowed to grow - and taking the Rajdhani to Howrah as a child you could see the vast industrial wastelands of central Bengal.
People (keep in mind these 'people' are almost always Bengali parochialists - and that is not a breed that is in any danger of going extinct, especially in the media) and say that it is a tragedy that JB never became PM. We got a sleepy and foul-mouthed HD Deve Gowda instead. But the Deve Gowda - IK Gujral interregnum in Indian modern is better best forgotten (and not as the Congress would like - Narashima Rao's - but history is the best judge not 10, Janpath). I'm not arguing that JB would have been worse, but if we are the growing economic powerhouse that we are today, it isn't thanks to the Communists. We can debate a lot of 'What If's?' in history - I mean what if the Indian Army hadn't won the decisive battle in Imphal against the Japanese? Would we be ruled by the Forward Bloc (scary bunch of people). But you know what? I thank my lucky stars that Jyoti Basu did not become Prime Minister of India.
Not that Mamta will be much better for that state, little wonder my cousin sister wants to run away after graduating from school this year. Shed a tear for the state, not the man.

Housekeeping!

Regular posts have been far too few and far between - but what can we talk about lets see...

'Aman Ki Asha' - Well, I'm speechless, as is Anchorman. Therefore Anchorman would rather we declare war on Australia, whose media is going through gteat pains to describe how lots of Indians are murdered in India (in response to even what I must admit was not a really funny cartoon - R.Prasad can do better, his cartoons aren't always quite there, then again at least Mail Today has a daily cartoonist). Which is kind of missing the point, just showing that missing the point is an universal trait among journalists.

So that killed two birds with one stone. So, should one now explore the depths to which Jackie Shroff has descended - promoting Musli Power Extra. For crying out loud, that ad is the most bizarre one on TV. No wait, there is this JK cement advert which has a girl (God knows what she had to do to get the role) in a swimsuit. That is the ad. A girl in a swimsuit. Promoting Cement. What. The. F***.

What else?

Hm, oh yes, the inevitable claims of 'morphing' whenever someone is presented with a video or photograph of them doing something. Now, image morphing is rampant - I ought to write to Vogue India that future issues should have a byline called 'photoshopping' in addition to 'Photographs' and 'Styling'. Just look at the magazine, they're in love with the airbrush tool among others - check out PSD when you have the time. Not that the Kingfisher Calendar is any better - I was at the launch (yes, yes, I get to do cool things - I'm a cool guy, remember) and well, thank god for Photoshop. But video? Has anyone ever seen Indian special effects? Or what passes as animation in this country? Do people even know that replacing a gadzillion-odd pixels in several thousand frames would possibly melt a Core i7 processor? No, wait. This is the desi media, obviously they don't.

Any other housekeeping notes? Nothing right now (we'll get into the compassion vs. doing something debate later), I have a ton of cool stuff lined by for February, but you'll hear about that then. And no, it isn't about how the Budget should be banned for the sake of my sanity. But generally fun stuff. You'll see.

Nine years in...

Sorry for not posting for a while, I was inundated (literally) with work, and trying to keep up with my resolve to drink less copiously that took a slight toll on my sanity, though my liver must be grateful. That and the fact that I’m feeling very, very cold. Yes, one can argue that it really isn’t ‘that’ cold in India compared to say anywhere in Europe (or even Florida – Florida for God’s sake) but then again homes in India are designed to be cool – they’re designed to keep the heat out. Considering we have nine months of summer and three of winter in northern India (which equates to three months of less hot/muggy south of the tropic of Cancer) that makes immense sense – it also makes winters bloody cold. Ever tried playing a Xbox 360 wearing gloves – trying moving the analog stick. It ain’t easy. And during all that there was the biennial media festival called the Auto Expo which basically taught me that a mass of photographers and cameramen jostling for position is a riot waiting to happen. And given that everyone with a camera is a ‘Magazine Editor’ and all you need to start a TV channel is technically two video cameras.
Sorry to sound like a grumpy old man, and I’m genuinely sorry that I didn’t post earlier this year. I’ve been debating what to do with the blog, it is a thought that I’ve had for a while. Some senior folks would rather I shut the blog down, for my own good. Though I argue back that the golden decade of the media just ended with a whimper in India and a knowledge – and a practical working knowledge of new media delivery platforms as they evolve is going to hold me in good stead. I’m not for one second arguing that four covers in a year works better, but I’m just saying y’know. Anyway, I have registered a couple of alternative identities for a site (presstalk.in for example) and was wondering what to do with it. Yes, yes, the migrate to Wordpress bit I already know – take more pictures, yada, yada. I’m not like my friend Kutty at MOB and I’m not going to stalk guys who take a pee on the side of the road. But I will try and get a more comprehensive content thing going. But given the fact that crowdsourcing is the latest refuge of the lazy journalist – and despite working hard over the past few months – I cannot escape my Bengali genes for too long. So, please do comment with what you would like to see here. I know there are more than a fair share of people who don't like me for whatever reason (and that list does not include my previous or current editor for the benefit of a comment I just moderated - I love moderation I wonder what would happen if everyone else applied a bit of it sometimes instead of declaring war on Australia)
And, again, hope everyone has a great, great 2010 and I’ll start the year by asking a very simple question – why didn’t Outlook name names in their ‘media sex story’ – heck, the story didn’t even have a frikking byline. Makes you wonder.

Smuggest!

I know it isn't a word, but wasn't SPS Rathore's smile after he exited the CBI court just the smuggest thing you've ever seen. It reminded me of the smile we had when we left the headmaster's room in middle school after being sent there, guilty as hell, but only getting a 'warning'. That said, usually Br. Gaffney used to take his cane out and warm our backsides so our smug smiles were larger because we knew just how bad things could be. More likely, this is the same smile a child has after being caught with candy and getting away with it. Rathore has been proven guilty but got away with a slap on his wrist and if it wasn't for the few photographers who took that picture of him, I doubt the rush to send the man to jail would have taken place.
Just my two cents on the issue, but the fct remains that Rathore is a scumbag who deserves to go to jail. It is a pity that it takes a media campaign to send him to jail. Justice in India is a rather strange thing, no?
Picture from The Indian Express

Useless

So, you're supposed to take a man who gets his wife to write his columns for him seriously? (Don't ask how I know, I just know) That and the fact the troika of Raghav, Haresh and Sameer must have been bemused when the pronouncements were made. Frankly, even if 'paid news' was not the disease it is, 'sympathetic' news would be - a company that sponsored the big-ticket event of the year on one group channel is given sympathetic coverage on another.
See, frankly, I feel the Editors Guild is an even more useless body than the Press Council. Until this entire issue of 'Paid News' came up everyone seemed to forgotten it existed and several editors - you know the guys who actually edit papers that matter don't even attend. I have argued that self-regulation is bound to fail and the Editor's Guild paying he matter lip service is bound to ensure that it is buried a quiet death. Until somebody raises it again soon, but by then god only knows if the media in its current shape, size or form will survive.
That said, I still don't believe that 'Paid News' is the greatest threat facing Indian journalism or journalism globally for that matter - the biggest threat (other than pointless self-regulating bodies) is 'cut-and-paste' journalism. Whole chunks of text from Wikipedia, likely written by a Public Relations type are taken as the gospel truth and printed verbatim. You would have thought that young Indian journalists would have learned from the cautionary tale of VN Narayanan, but who cares? You won't see lazy journalism discussed by talking shops will you?
Insincere journalism written or described by monkeys who feel that they're doing a 9-to-5 job and who 'scoops' are handed out to them is worse. At least when it comes to 'Paid News', the company/individual whose news is getting written about has shown some sincerity and maybe some thinking has gone in somewhere. Google might be my best friend, but it has also enabled utter idiots to parade about with 'PRESS' stickers on their cars - I've not had one on my car for over five years now.
Anyway, this was a rush job, I've got far too much work over the next few days for regular updates, even though I'm bemused at Twatteroor's latest adventures. Making fun of the Ministry of Home Affairs under Chidambaram is not a good idea (while it was under Shivraj Patil you were supposed to make fun of the MHA). Mr. Minister, do your job trying to ensure that Indians don't get too badly exploited in the Middle-East (that is your responsibility isn't it?) that they have to stow themselves away in planes.

This post was paid for...

There has been endless conjecture about the rampant increase in ‘Paid For’ news stories across the media, from the top dailies to the language press all the way down the line. There is nothing wrong with a newspaper or magazine or news channel taking a political line or choosing to support one of the Ambani brothers over the other. That is an editorial decision. But even those are rarely free. First things first, this phenomenon is not restricted to only print and much like print, the rot of ‘Paid For’ news in TV stretches all the way to the top. And unlike some aspects of print, you have no clue that you’re watching a ‘sponsored’ show on TV where the channel has zilch edit control. But that isn’t saying that it isn’t bad in print – like a piece on Ponytail’s book in a supplement (or three) today – so sign that was a paid piece is there?
It comes down to a couple of things. The first is the lack of disclosure – unlike newspapers and magazines, TV channels do not have to display a Form VI showing ownership – many language news channels are biased by their very ownership – Sakshi for example. Now, the casual viewer will hardly have a clue – though in the case of Sakshi you do know that Jagan Reddy owns it by the incessant coverage of everything YSR and Jagan. The second is that, and this problem is there is newspapers as well, a lack of disclosure about political affiliations of the owners. There is a nexus between news proprietors and the editorial, everyone knows that, the media in India is hardly free, so if the owner of a news organization sits as a Member of Parliament or even a Member of Legislative Assembly, that has to be disclosed. The reader needs to know that the proprietor of the Hindustan Times sits as a Congress MP in the Rajya Sabha, or that the proprietor of Sun TV’s brother is an Union Minister.
The second aspect is quite simply the lack of teeth. Frankly, the Press Council of India (PCI) is a toothless body populated by old, irrelevant retired journalists and retired judges who look to Liberhan as a role-model. Also, the PCI does not control television news. There needs to be a drastic change in the way the media is policed. And believe me, the media needs policing, because it is just spreading all sorts of wild and whacky canards along with news of dubious quality. The problem is that these old, retired folks only end up complaining about the amount of skin shown. Not the news.
The relatively easy access to technology over the past decade has led to a massive explosion in the number of news channels and print publications. The PCI has not kept up. The lack of a regulatory body has been exploited by proprietors. Every single time a suggestion of a regulatory body is made by the government, it is seen as censorship by the media, in no small part due to the fact that any proposal is usually drafted by a control-obsessed bureaucrat. But there has to be a regulator, not a toothless one like the PCI or the Advertising Standards Council of India (ASCI). Actually, between the PCI and the ASCI you would be hard-pressed to find a worse regulator. And Rajeev Chandrashekhar is complaining about TRAI (not that I’m saying they’re good, but compared to these two!).
Any new regulatory body for the media would need to take in the fact that there has been a technology explosion over the years and have to get rid of the tendency to muzzle the media that all governments have. Yet, there should be rules against false news (watch Hindi news channels on dubious science) or against news that incites (Sakshi?) and ‘Paid For’ news (everyone). Any body would have to take into account multimedia – the fact that maybe in five years time we won’t be consuming news through either TV or print. Like other regulators it should also look into what is being taught in courses that train young professionals.
And to be successful it must be comprised not of retired old fogeys, but should include younger editors, and editors of publications that matter, like a Jojo for example. Proprietors need to be brought in as well – because there are commercial interests in news – people like Raghav and/or Kalanidhi Maran know that better than anyone else. We do not live in a socialist age, junkets are a fact of life. And there should also be people from society –and government. The fact remains that the news is not equal, farmers might starve and buses could crash in far-flung parts of India but urban newspapers, even language ones will still publish pictures of Jamie Jungers, one of Tiger’s alleged mistresses in a bikini.
Every stakeholder from the government which wants to get news out, law enforcement, journalists themselves, proprietors and society needs to be involved. And this has to be done in a country of 1.1 billion people over several (what is it today? 30 proposed or 32 proposed?) states, each with a different agenda and different problems. The problems journalists are facing in Maoist-areas in central India are massive.
See if we in the media are serious about dealing with the ‘menace’ of ‘Paid News’ we have to go beyond soul-searching in articles and pointing fingers at each other. We need to deal with it. Self-regulation has failed and the government regulator is a joke. Either we deal with it, or as the coming wave of data access comes along, the media in India, much like the media in the west will face declining numbers as people move away to more reliable sources, like a kid with a cell-phone camera.
Anyway, comment with your thoughts or lack of...

Ice, Fire, Smoke and Water

Makes no sense, does it? Nor did the massive amount of rumours concerning the leading business daily, but then again as a friend of mine over there told me, “something must be up, otherwise why would we be hearing all this.” Here is the thing, there are ways of keeping rumours in check, very good ways, namely not telling too many people and when things start to spread you could clamp down on the rumours. From one end, the palliative side at least, we have heard a flat-out denial. But from the other end, nothing at all, no denials, no messages, nothing. The more radio silence there is (like the Japanese fleet that attacked Pearl Harbour) the more phone calls others have to field. And the more suspicion is aroused (ref: Tiger Woods).
It would be a bit difficult to deny that the television channel has been a tad disappointing. It is also by now no secret that people at the very top want the horses out and models in, the opposite of Tiger Woods’ philosophy of women (other than the Jamie Jungers chick, but she does look a bit like his almost ex-wife) and that isn’t really surprising. It is also by now no secret that the ‘integrated newsroom’ concept has been a colossal failure, but then again how did they expect to maintain an integrated newsroom with differential salaries. Seems a bit too much like ‘want Cake, for free, will eat too’. Ugsters on the telly minus the reporters, something had to give, no?
Such is life. On another note, one heck of a lot of carbon is being spent on sending reporters to Copenhagen (at last count, UndieTV is sending at least four people) but some parts of the media have been giving the event the coverage it deserves from India’s perspective rather than only buying into what the West wants. I’m no environmental guru, but any agreement that India agrees to must balance India’s developmental needs along with environmental concerns. Above all else, the government should instead of ramming down environmentalism down people’s throats teach them a bit about the problems – get the guys who write the Hindi soap operas to incorporate green messages maybe.
And then there is the ‘Paid News’ brouhaha. Usually most people specify what is an advertorial in print, and people have used the paid news club to batter BCCL again, and if you read the first two paras, they have their own problems (EDIT: though the Maharashtra Times did carry the same Chavan electoral advert). The funniest however was UndieTV which did a few shows, but it would have been better if they did some soul-searching themselves. A good half (well, estimates of over 60 per cent usually) the content on Undie Profit is paid for by advertisers. In fact, every business TV channel is guilty of this in India, and there is nary an indication of this before, during or after the show.
There will very few posts until the end of next week though as I’m caught up in a horrible mixture of work, wedding season (including travel to Lucknow), Single Malts and a bad cold. Well, there has been far too little single malt, but you get the picture.

PS: Oh, and I must thank Joji and Saad for giving all us twitter users a magnificently entertaining time yesterday evening. Yes, it got a bit out of hand, but that was primarily because Chetan Bhagat was finally exposed as the arrogant twat that he is. Surprising that bad authors can be so arrogant! Actually, wait a second....

Everyone else is an unwashed dog!

Despite the fact that the New York Times syndication service is subscribed to by several large newspapers in India, including Mint, I doubt this article will ever see the printed page in India. The relevant passage is highlighted below.

“Some very simple practices that you often take for granted, such as being ethical in day to day situations, or believing in the rule of law in everyday behavior, are surprisingly absent in many situations,” said Raju Narisetti, who was born in Hyderabad and returned to India in 2006 to found a business newspaper called Mint, which is now the country’s second-biggest business paper by readership.
He said he left earlier than he expected because of a “troubling nexus” of business, politics and publishing that he called “draining on body and soul.” He returned to the United States this year to join The Washington Post.

All I can say is - Ouch! But then again, why am I not surprised. Expect a lot of bitching about Raju emanating from KG Marg very shortly.

Due thanks to Mr AR! And the post headline is from an 'anonymous' commenter.

Weeks End

Short, quick post. I had an interesting morning meeting today with an independent MP who dabbles a bit in the media. The money quote, "A channel can break even, they can spend a lot of money for eyeballs, but it takes a special kind of genius to lose 200 crores quarter after quarter and still stay in business." Of course, this was interspersed in between comments about the media's lack of credibility, but that was like a preacher talking to the choir.
But I will write a post tomorrow about more interesting things, but this weekend I really do plan to watch Liefenstahl's Triumph of the Wills, one of the most revolutionary movies of all time but also a masterpiece of propaganda. Then again, the Congress does not need to pay for propaganda here.

Uncle M pulls a fast one

You have to love Uncle M. Just because he could not convince Google to fork over more bribe money like they did with MySpace, he wants his newspapers to stop being indexed on Google. Now, I don’t quite buy into Google’s ‘Don’t Be Evil’ philosophy. Any organization where people can have the food that Google offers along with unlimited Red Bull has to be doing something evil. I mean, I’m convinced Uncle M is fearful of them as The Emperor was of Luke, only this is a double-headed Luke. OK, this is going nowhere is it?
The problem is that Uncle M is treated as a God by several media moguls in India, even though he cannot understand why FDI isn’t allowed in newspapers. The future of the net and how content will be distributed online is an area where Indian media groups are hopelessly behind the West and they don’t have a frikkin’ clue either. The argument is not a easy one, there is a serious issue of ‘content stealing’ that happens in India. Citizen Journalism, other than the occasional lucky video is nothing more than wild opinions masquerading as journalism, or is that Times NOW? Most ‘Citizen Journalism’ is nothing more than second or third hand reporting. Anyone who followed Twitter during the events of last November in Mumbai would know that.
Listen I am not defending traditional journalism, I still maintain that most journalists in India are either dumb or lazy, sometimes a horrible mix of the two. I can’t honestly say that I do not fit into either category, even though chances are another editor will make a third category for people like me – ‘fat’. Back to the point, there have been far too few discussions on how the internet will change journalism in India. Do I know? Nope, I have no clue, but I can pretty much assure you that journalism will be drastically different even by the time my father retires (if he does), let alone ten years time.
I don’t know if I want to poll blog readers for opinions, because I’m afraid much of it as usual will be vitriol directed towards me. And I will give people more and more reason to hate me even more soon enough. Alongside my image of a seriously mentally disturbed potential psycho-killer, I am quite hatable! As for being a 'jealous hater', yes, I do not like certain people, but 'jealousy' is an attribute that I don't think I have unless it concerns women.
And for the record, why on earth would I want to suck up to (an evidently suit-hating) Suku? And the first comment on the last post mentioned, I genuinely enjoy where I currently work because I get to do things I love doing, I possibly have more fun on the job than any peer of mine. Sure, I’ve never worked for the money, but I can run a blog like this. Why would I want a strait-jacketed job which I would want to leave at the first opportunity I got to leave. I believe the secret to good journalism is a happy journalist. You might or might not agree with me, but I don’t give a flying eff!

Exodus

Will someone please explain what the heck is going on in The Economic Times? For those of you not aware, in the past two weeks there has been an exodus of sorts from the country’s largest business newspaper. And the exodus is limited to overpaid editors but some of the papers best reporters, who would rather commit what some of us consider career suicide rather than continue in ET. I can see the grin on Sukumar’s face!
By career suicide, I mean FE – I know some of the guys joining FE are loyalists of the new FE Editor MK Venu, but honestly that paper only exists for the tender adverts, it is not bad or anything but ask yourself (if you are not in PR or in the Indian Express group) when was the last time you read FE for a sustained period of time. I just about manage to glance through it in office. That said, I wish the new team in FE all the best towards achieving the ‘high profile’ that Shekhar Gupta wants, but Mint won the ‘profile’ wars long ago. That said, I just wonder how many people are ‘parking’ themselves to break the ridiculous and anti-employee ‘no-poaching’ pact between BCCl and HTMedia.
Some of the seeds of chaos were sown by the concept of an integrated newsroom but differential pay structures for print and TV. My reporter friends in ET have expressed their displeasure with this over and over and they were just waiting for an uptick in hiring to jump ship. But I laughed this away, a couple of people of people here and there, the scale of this desertion is mind-boggling. But then again, I have to admit a couple of Editors I have worked with saw this coming, along with the plunging ratings – which isn’t surprising when they send a vapid but pretty face to interview the CEO of a company that Robert Noyce founded.
Admittedly the business news space is more robust than general news, but the attendant chaos is limited to the second floor of 7, BSZ Marg and not the third floor. Puzzling, or maybe because ToI staffers aren’t jealous of Times NOW staffers as ET staffers seem to be of ET NOW staffers. Maybe people in ToI just take a look at Arnab’s zeal for war with China and/or Pakistan and thank their lucky stars!
Oh yes, and an apology for not writing over the past few days, I’ve acquired a new Editor and he has been flogging this slightly thinner reporter. And I’ve been enjoying myself quite a bit at work.

On another note.

I just love this line.

At their heart, most pseudonymous identities are collaborations between the author, who provides the outline of a persona, and the audience, which fills in the blanks. The result is a sort of virtual superhero, an oracle more accurate than any mortal could hope to be. Compared to the elusive mastermind of the collective imagination, the real author inevitably disappoints.

From this month’s Wired.

Back to regular programming now. Which over here usually means clearing up masses of spam comments placed by guys who run Search Engine Optimisation firms. Other than that what news? Well, some Undies have been left out to dry as Undie is getting rid of Imagine – which should actually be known as the Sameer Nair family show (with Rakhi Sawant on the side). With Turner exiting Real, effectively the second flop channel after Peter and Indrani Mukerjea’s INX whatever, they’ve decided to get into used Undies. Not that I watch much of what are termed as General Entertainment Channels, though I must admit I did see a bit of Rakhi’s show and I will watch bits and pieces of ‘Who wants to be beaten up by an abusive husband?’ where Rahul Mahajan fritters away whatever little is left of his father’s legacy.
But good for him, everybody has the right to make money. And abuse substances. Even Andre Agassi. Listen the guy did drugs at a low-ebb of his life and I don’t know why the entire contrite moral brigade – hypocrites that they are – are condemning him. I actually found myself agreeing with Rick Reilly’s assessment of Agassi on his blog and I will buy the book. I liked Andre Agassi as a kid, his was a player with heart and not like a robot – both the one Agassi played against and the other one today. The robots are good but dull. And Agassi is the one that married Steffi Graf!
In other news, well it seems that the media’s horrible tradition of personal life destruction continues. And we stick with the same network, I’m not surprised at marriages breaking up and the fascination for older people, but the cast involved sometimes baffles me. To take a guess, there is a reason why some people call the evening prime time talking-head shows on NDTV (other than the 9PM news itself) the ‘boyfriend’ shows. I won’t be a hypocrite and pass comments on the lack of stability in people’s lives, but the sooner that both media bosses and HR inside the companies realize that, particularly their ace reporters/anchors, in both print and television do not have healthy and/or steady personal lives, that is a problem. This is worse than alcohol, well and in many cases it is pretty much responsible for alcohol abuse.
People can call journalists names, accuse us of biases and you know what, we all have biases. I try my utmost to not let my opinion of something affect something I’m working on, but any journalist, even the dumbest ones would be lying if they said that their biases did not impact them. The fact that some of us have been brought up the way we have comes through in the way we write or present. The fact remains that this is a job, and if you are good at what you do, and this is the sad part, you are usually asked to do more than you can handle simply because you are good.
The fact is that most journalists in most organizations would be what club football calls squad players, average for lack of a better word. If you are ‘an International’, and sorry for the football analogies here, you life is destined to be a horrible one. Yes, you will enjoy great professional success, meeting some really important people and your phone-book will bulge, or in some cases your mobile is so full of numbers that it pretty much stops functioning properly. It is a great feeling believe me, but man that completely screws up your sense of priorities and in many cases your life, because above all else it gives you a tremendously inflated opinion of yourself and sometimes you just can’t see clearly of who does matter. This is not about cracking a sale or becoming a General Manager, you really have access to power.
I should know, believe me. Thankfully, most of those closest to me in this profession, other than one notorious hold-out have managed to piece together their lives. Somewhat. But, honestly unless some action is taken, and taken soon things will only get worse. And the action should start from an organisation that needs it more than any other. The one in a disused cinema hall.

So who would you rather win tonight? The soul cricketers from T&T or the cricket machines from NSW. I’m not biased against the Aussies, I think their ruthless efficiency and Simon Katich’s captaincy has to be learnt from. New South Wales is the winningest domestic team of all time and has always been the heart of Australian cricket. But I really do want Trinidad and Tobago to win. This has possibly been at the same time, the most interesting and most pointless cricket tournament of all time. Then again, it also proved that the IPL is a bit a blunderbuss tournament, and the sight of Lalit Modi waving the Trinidadian flag was quite a bizarre one.
Enough cricket, and for that matter enough sport for now. Some people would gleefully be looking at yesterday’s election results and feeling rather pleased with themselves. Other than ordinary Maharashtrians (and Bhupinder Hooda) I’m sure. The Maharashtrian voter might have rejected the Shiv Sena, but the fact remains that one of the most inept state governments in India outside the Communist ruled states has been re-elected.
Unlike Bengali’s who had a clear death-wish for their state (and still do, by backing the Whacky Mammy!), Maharashtrians I guess had to choose between the Devil and Deep Blue Sea, pardon the cliché. Some voters struck Faustian deals and gave Raj Thackeray quite a few seats, but I sincerely hope that one of India’s great states finally gets good government with good policies. And not suffer five more years of suicides and power-blackouts and what not. I’m not saying that the SS-BJP combine should have come to power in Maharashtra, they had no clear policies in place and did not deserve power. But, Maharashtrians just had to look at the other end of NH-6 to see what years of constant power does! Change if it must happen, has to start now and not a few months before the election and to give credit to Raj Thackeray, he did (aided by the Hindi channels in particular – who demonized him to the extent that he became the victim) build an organization.
OK, another weekend has come about and I’ve had a rather fruitful week I must admit. I’m feeling hungry right now, so I am leaving with a little-wittle link to a rather interesting blog. I have no idea who runs it, too much detail for a journalist, I think it is a money man of some sort. But extremely interesting nonetheless. Do read it.
Or you could read this. Only if you want. Don’t blame me, I warned you.
Have a great weekend.

And today...

The funny thing was the sniggering I heard from some journalists when they heard about America’s ‘Balloon Boy’ story. How could, they claim, the American media be taken up by something so patently untrue and then harp on it for hours on end? Evidently they don’t either watch or read what passes for news in this country, though that said, India TV and IBN 7 do take some beating for their alien abduction stuff. Thankfully, we were not subjected to too much ‘Balloon Boy’ in India but the hype did ensure that our channels forgot the fact that there is a low-intensity civil war going on in parts of the country. Then again, between the Americans, us and the British, you wonder who is plumbing the depths of trenches the deepest.
This is a country where a large percentage of the population scrapes by at under a dollar a day, but the gossip pages see fit to show pictures of Delhi’s money-swirling card parties – ‘Ohhh! look at my black money’. OK, I won't be too much of a hipocrite, I also played some cards but I lost money. For the cause of entertainment. So there! Before angry commentors pour scorn on my stupidity/hipocrisy/ass-licking whatever. generally, for me personally this was a arather subdued Diwali as my brother wasn't around, being in a phoren-land. And after my adventures with an old girlfriend, whom we shall call Gin and Tonic on Friday, I really couldn't drink that much the rest of the weekend without feeling sick. Or possibly that was from eating the expired foods that get packed up into Diwali gift-packs. Or breathing the fumes from poisonous Chinese firecrackers.
The only thing that was good this weekend was the Trinidad and Tobago T20 team. Man, they rock!