So who would you rather win tonight? The soul cricketers from T&T or the cricket machines from NSW. I’m not biased against the Aussies, I think their ruthless efficiency and Simon Katich’s captaincy has to be learnt from. New South Wales is the winningest domestic team of all time and has always been the heart of Australian cricket. But I really do want Trinidad and Tobago to win. This has possibly been at the same time, the most interesting and most pointless cricket tournament of all time. Then again, it also proved that the IPL is a bit a blunderbuss tournament, and the sight of Lalit Modi waving the Trinidadian flag was quite a bizarre one.
Enough cricket, and for that matter enough sport for now. Some people would gleefully be looking at yesterday’s election results and feeling rather pleased with themselves. Other than ordinary Maharashtrians (and Bhupinder Hooda) I’m sure. The Maharashtrian voter might have rejected the Shiv Sena, but the fact remains that one of the most inept state governments in India outside the Communist ruled states has been re-elected.
Unlike Bengali’s who had a clear death-wish for their state (and still do, by backing the Whacky Mammy!), Maharashtrians I guess had to choose between the Devil and Deep Blue Sea, pardon the cliché. Some voters struck Faustian deals and gave Raj Thackeray quite a few seats, but I sincerely hope that one of India’s great states finally gets good government with good policies. And not suffer five more years of suicides and power-blackouts and what not. I’m not saying that the SS-BJP combine should have come to power in Maharashtra, they had no clear policies in place and did not deserve power. But, Maharashtrians just had to look at the other end of NH-6 to see what years of constant power does! Change if it must happen, has to start now and not a few months before the election and to give credit to Raj Thackeray, he did (aided by the Hindi channels in particular – who demonized him to the extent that he became the victim) build an organization.
OK, another weekend has come about and I’ve had a rather fruitful week I must admit. I’m feeling hungry right now, so I am leaving with a little-wittle link to a rather interesting blog. I have no idea who runs it, too much detail for a journalist, I think it is a money man of some sort. But extremely interesting nonetheless. Do read it.
Or you could read this. Only if you want. Don’t blame me, I warned you.
Have a great weekend.

Something black in the lentils

We live in India, every second thing that happens has a degree of shadiness in it. But, this dude takes shadiness to the next level - all we know is that he is a dedicated Congressiya and a chela of Kamal Nath by his own admission and owns unspecified patents and might not even say the truth - his claim of Mongolian companies seems highly shady (Wikipedia is a wonderful thing - click on - ). I'm not going to a journalistic exercise, not even an armchair one, but some of the stuff he says sounds incredulous and a spin on existing technology - next generation networks with internet based access? That sounds like Voice over Internet Protocol (VoIP) to me. Spending Rs 45,000 crore to build a chip fab in Rajasthan, a state apparently with loads and loads of water. Don't you just love it when people expose themselves publicly?
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Since I'm not exactly Mr Human Rights, may I suggest a quick-fire solution to Delhi's driving woes. Humiliate the city's worst drivers. People caught doing the stupidest things - such as driving on the wrong side of the road to save a 100 meter drive, not using indicators, generally driving like a complete moron and all Bajaj Chetak owners should be given a large 20-point sticker that simply says Main Chu*iya Hoon. No need for fines or anything like that. That might not stop blueline and RTV drivers driving like complete dicks but it will be start.
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And while I understand that Sasha Baron Cohen's new movie Bruno is an amazing social satire and makes people face their prejudices, it did mentally scar me. The guy has some balls (literally - no seriously, there is a lot of cock and balls in this movie) but I'm going to have nightmares for a few months and will willingly run into the arms of Mr Wand Mr Chivas, old friends of mine I had forgotten for a while.

Wind-Sock?

If The Indian Express (where in something that would have made Ponytail proud, journalism awards were given to the son-in-law, anyone surprised?) is changing its spots so dramatically, can a change of government be in the offing? The Q leak, though symptomatic of the way the UPA regime has used the CBI for its own odds and ends (much like the NDA also did) is rumored to be followed up by other large exposes before the fourth round on May 7. I wonder how quickly RajdeepTV starts changing their stance as well - ET carried a decent story today on how bureaucrats are trying to save their skins as happened during polling in 2004 (and given that the ToI and ET sites are run by Indiatimes a completely schizo web company you can't find the article).
The other really funny thing is that the 'psychopath's' antics in Pilibhit seem to have worked - confused identity and the BJP's own problems with his father (and the Emergency) be damned. BCCL of course, always goes where the wind blows - I think there is a Mr. Big song of the same name - this eighties and nineties music thing is getting a bit much - have Sweet Child O' Mine playing right now while also trying to watch the two worst teams in the IPL go at each other. What will happen to the news organisations that find themselves tied to the Congress thanks to reasons of ownership or otherwise? Well, the Congress-owned paper won't be making ministers of it anytime soon, and after the funny accusation of calling Advani a mask for Modi - funny because everybody has known that fact for a while, much like MMS is a cover for Rahulbaba. Seriously, expecting either Advani or MMS to last out till 2014 is asking for far too much. Call a spade a spade, but do it fairly.
That said, I still believe that 1992, 2002 and IC-814 will be problems for the BJP going forward not just the 'Hindu' agenda forwarded by Togadia and Muthalik. Ditching the ugly side is important. Nothing wrong in nationalism, nothing wrong in demanding and creating a stronger India. But the past has a bad habit of appearing at all the wrong times. Shit happened, shit hit the fan, if you don't clean all the shit quickly, you can still fall ill after several years.
It seems the Bevdaas have beaten Dildo's team. Remind me to send Nokia's marketing guys a 'told you so' note!

Hmmmm...

You know watching qualifying got me thinking, sometimes the old geezers can just rise to the top of the pile thanks to a helpful last minute intervention. Of copurse, that does not signify anything either about Indian politics - because we aren't quite sure which old geezer we're talking about at any given point of time - the weak-hearted debate avoider or 'that one' who people still blame for bringing down a defunct archeological monument (the Wiki entry has apparently been written by people who love Mail Today). Talking about debate avoidance, Anand Sharma's quip that there is 'no tradition' of televised debates is classic Congress spin, there is no history because we have just about become a televised nation. But of course, just about everything uis spin. Which is why once the IPL gets underway I will be spared of spin. I have a choice between Ajay Maken and Vijay Goel in the New Delhi constituency and will probably see what either of them has to offer me. At the end of the day, the one who gets more people in the slums drunk will win, but then again there is a long time to go before I get to vote. I wonder if the local telly channels will broadcast a debate between the two candidates for India's 'most powerful' constituency.
PS: The pictures of Advani on the BJP posters is really bizzare, I'm sure the BJP could have used a better photographer.
PPS: Talking about the media, the leak of Times' TV projections makes me wonder if people are still drinking crazy juice out there. Many of the ventures over the past few years are flailing about unable to draw in revenues, yet the craziness persists.

Damp Squib

Yes there was the build-up, the telly channels and the newspapers were all excited. ToI even did a massive fluff piece on Mukherjee - comparing India today with Indira Gandhi's India. But what did everyone expect - a vote on account is just an exercise to keep things running till the elections happen. The elections are the big thing and that was made clear by the last couple of sentences of Mukherjee's speech...

"I have no doubt that when the time comes, our people will recognize the hand that made it all possible. The hand that alone can help our nation on the road to peace and prosperity. "

Imagine if the Indian National Congress still used its original symbol - "...the cow that made it all possible..." would have been a riot - but that said only the Congress really has an election symbol that lends it to this turn of speech.
About this post on the 'secular' Commies cozying up to Islamo-facists - yes, I was as surprised as any to discover that The Statesman still survives and the silence by the liberal Delhi news channels - the saviours of the secular identity of this country is mind-blowing.

Democracy.. Strange ain't it?

I'm still rather amazed how the BJP managed to lose Delhi but I'm not horrified. I won't say 'I told you so', but I alluded to the possibility in this post. Rajasthan, according to some in BJP was a foregone conclusion and some people in the BJP think they did better than they hoped. But at the end of the day, it will come down to Delhi and only Delhi, how the BJP managed to lose this city will be study of several post-mortem's for days to come. 

Simple answer - they f***ed up BJP style, that is taking a double-barrell shotgun and aiming for the foot - not just choosing VK Malhotra but also not having much of a plank other than being 'anti' Congress. Hey, the 'anti' factor worked for Obama, but there really wasn't that kind of seething rage. Well, I really wouldn't read too much into these polls just yet, if history is any indicator, this set of polls does not mean anything for the next year - 2003's results made the BJP cocksure. maybe the loss of Delhi will jolt them and Mr Jaitley might just lay off the 'sugar free' sweets. And maybe they will learn not to keep on shooting their foot off. Any which way, good fun ahead. As well as more silly BRT projects. Shucks. I wonder if Malhotra will do the respectable thing and resign or will he need to be dragged out Khurana-style. But note to the BJP - Delhi isn't a Punjabi trading outpost anymore, it is India's most cosmopolitan city whose economy is based completely on services. Good for Auntyji though.

My finger still hurts though. Oh, and I watched CNN-IBN all morning, more fun than the other channels. Arnab was a bit irritating on Times Now. And the smaller channels need help, someone please put them out of their misery. 

The shit has hit the fan!

And I'm not talking about the blatant misuse of copyrighted material by newspapers. Which almost invariably occurs in the Edit pages of newspapers - wonder if edit page editors stuck in a 1960's time warp don't quite understand the concept of copyright. But, some argue that Chiddu is really not to blame, after all Chiddu (and the desi economy) is but a mere victim of global greed and GW not content driving the US into ruin has managed to drag the entire world into chaos. I wonder if my mother's idea of withdrawing money and buying gold a few months ago has become an act of sheer genius.
But seriously, Udayan's face during initial market hours as the market collapsed a thousand points in early trade was in marked contrast to the faces of absolute horror that the CNBC US anchors last night. Those guys almost went hysterical with fear and rage - while UM seemed strangely dispassionate, almost Zen-like. Two extremes within twelve hours on the same channel, and I'm not quite sure I was a big fan of either. Well UM was not bad, and I get the idea that one should not perpetuate panic, but now even the language channels have caught on - and even the mainstream CNN-IBN is asking 'Is your money safe?'. Note that CNN-IBN asks crazy rhetorical questions such as 'Have Christians lost faith in India?' where the Congress sends a spokesperson there who says that 'those people' (the Sangh) are going on about Ram-something or the other." Interesting way of pissing off 'those people'. Note to the Congress send erudite people preferably from the majority community to answer criticisms, unless you admit that a large majority of your party is scared of taking action against the Bajrang Dal, lest Hindu votes consolidate against the Congress.
True, the religious whacko's manage to go mad just before election season, but you could almost sense that this was coming. The problem is that all those who claim that they feel strongly against the whacko's on TV and Print won't vote. I hate the whacko's but I cannot possibly vote for this inept government again and I will vote. As much as I think that V.K Malhotra is an old coot, I can't vote for the party that gave us the crappy BRT - even though god knows what can be done with that stretch of road short of re-doing everything.
Anyway, back to the media now I guess. I'm just wondering how Ratan Tata and Bennett have kissed and made up a few short years after the Tata Finance fiasco. The only exclusives before the launch of the Gujju Nano were to ET and ToI. Makes you wonder really. As they say, there are no permanent friends or enemies in politics, maybe even Ratan Tata is a lot more pragmatic than people think. I mean the concept of 'Indian pragmatism' not business pragmatic - since the Jaguar-Land Rover is probably going to end up sinking Tata Motors, though apparently they could have even bought General Motors for the same amount of money going by yesterday's share price of GM. I wonder, GM's desi unit CEO, a Brit called Karl Slym is selling a three-year free service program for their cars here, I just don't think that there will be a GM in three years time. Heck, a hell of a lot of other companies won't be there in three years time.
Actually, the economic slowdown has put a cramp on the launch plans of several networks - apparently Triveni TV, the guys who just launched Voice of India TV are holding back on their lifestyle channel launch. Which is a good idea for a while, but what about all the people they hired for massive salaries? And how long will a channel hold on before cutting back staff for unviable channels? As it is appraisals in 2009 will be on the lower end of the scale. And a note to CNBC-TV18, I know that you guys have revamped your feature shows line-up - but isn't this a horrible time to have a show called 'Wealth Creators', nothing against Mitali, but the name of the show and the timing of its launch are a double whammy right now - and Rakesh Jhunjhunwala is not exactly a hero of the investing classes right now.

Omar Abdullah

Since I am pretty certain that the BJP will sweep the Jammu seats when J&K goes to the polls, I'm just curious as to know if Omar Abdullah will truly become like his father. He might have been finger-pointing at Advani in the Lok Sabha, but with the PDP likely to go back to the Congress (and unable to muster a majority) what will the National Conference do? Will Omar Abdullah follow his conscience. One of the better speeches made that day that nobody is talking about is that of Hyderabad's MIM MP Asaduddin Owaisi, but the award for the worst waste of two minutes goes to Mehbooba Mufti who didn't know what to say.
As for V.K Malhotra, people foget that he did defeat Manmohan Singh in South Delhi a couple of elections ago, and Delhi MP's don't really have to do much. Despite my right-wing leanings if Malhotra stands from my constituency again (now South-West Delhi according to the redrawn seats) I will vote against him since he let Shiela build that accursed BRT system, which for some reason HT has plugged today. Little wonder the paper needs help. However, I have a feeling that the INC will field Manmohan Singh for the Lok Sabha this time out from a Delhi constituency.
P.S: Weirdly enough, I believe the best thing possible for both the people of J&K and the country as a whole would be a 'grand coalition' in the northern state. It will never happen, but it would be a great thing.

Chiddu ko gussa kyon aata hai?

Is it just me, or are all of you who have read Chiddu's post-Budget interviews in the papers or watched him on TV feeling that Chid's has been in a bad mood of late. Not enough leggy failed models in his life maybe? But, his outburst at Raghav Behl beggars belief. I'm not a big fan of CNBC-TV18, but all that raghav did was ask a lot about the 'waiver' and how the government plans to pay for it. A few too many times, but since Chiddu has no clue about an answer, he could not give a straight answer and got pissed off. After he took his microphone off, we hear that the camera's kept rolling and interestingly, the Finance Minister suuposedly threatened the channel which created the 'Cult of Chiddu' with these words, "You see what I do to you." Even more surprisingly he did not blow up at Raghav but a poor cameraman doing his job.
The only reason I can figure out from Chid's is that he was pressurised into this budget by Madam and her coterie of ministers. Read this ToI story for an idea, of course the Prime Minister, who I can comfortably say has been India's most ineffectual Prime Minister ever, couldn't save him. You saw the adverts the next day!
Anyway, this is an election budget, the budget will get passed, and by the Monsoon session around August the Nuclear Deal will also go through. The Commies will withdraw support and elections will be called for September or October. Or so the thinking goes. I mean a winter election is so much better than a April-May election. Of course, it would be interesting to see if they still pull off an election if the monsoons are weak.
To answer a comment calling me a 'townie', no buddy, I have actually travelled more in the hinterland than most journalists, definately more than most journalists working under the cover of 'business journalism'. Hero Honda and Airtel between them have done more for the 'farmers' than decades of Congress governance. Why is there no public transport in backward parts of the country, because politicians and bureaucrats have siphoned off crores from State Transport Corporations and refused in some cases to allow private operators to run. Kerala is a good example (though it is the scariest state in the country to drive in, I once did a run through Kerala all the way to Aleppy and back in a Scorpio) where private operators operate a lot of buses at high-frequency and thus people use it. It might be a bad example since Kerala is also possibly one of the easiest states to organise transportation in. But when I was in Vidarbha a few years ago, our driver told me that farmers often blew up their funds on motorcycles and TV sets. Unbridled consumerism funded on debt isn't just a problem in urban areas. My Hindi is pathetic, not that it helped in Vidarbha anyway, but I ain't no townie!
There has been a failure of governance for far too long in this country, not just in the farms but also in the cities. And believe me, I also think that the BJP is as bad as the Congress. There is absolute failure of governance in Madhya Pradesh for example. And in cities, I think it should be mandatory for all city councillors, mayors and in Delhi's case the hare-brained Shiela Dikshit to master SimCity4, in fact, they should learn the Transportation Expansion pack of the game. I mean what next? A congestion charge in Delhi, a la London?
Did anyone see Papermint's fantastic hatchet-job/self-congratulatory pages today? Surpriosed at the Red-Dots that ET got?