The shit has hit the fan!

And I'm not talking about the blatant misuse of copyrighted material by newspapers. Which almost invariably occurs in the Edit pages of newspapers - wonder if edit page editors stuck in a 1960's time warp don't quite understand the concept of copyright. But, some argue that Chiddu is really not to blame, after all Chiddu (and the desi economy) is but a mere victim of global greed and GW not content driving the US into ruin has managed to drag the entire world into chaos. I wonder if my mother's idea of withdrawing money and buying gold a few months ago has become an act of sheer genius.
But seriously, Udayan's face during initial market hours as the market collapsed a thousand points in early trade was in marked contrast to the faces of absolute horror that the CNBC US anchors last night. Those guys almost went hysterical with fear and rage - while UM seemed strangely dispassionate, almost Zen-like. Two extremes within twelve hours on the same channel, and I'm not quite sure I was a big fan of either. Well UM was not bad, and I get the idea that one should not perpetuate panic, but now even the language channels have caught on - and even the mainstream CNN-IBN is asking 'Is your money safe?'. Note that CNN-IBN asks crazy rhetorical questions such as 'Have Christians lost faith in India?' where the Congress sends a spokesperson there who says that 'those people' (the Sangh) are going on about Ram-something or the other." Interesting way of pissing off 'those people'. Note to the Congress send erudite people preferably from the majority community to answer criticisms, unless you admit that a large majority of your party is scared of taking action against the Bajrang Dal, lest Hindu votes consolidate against the Congress.
True, the religious whacko's manage to go mad just before election season, but you could almost sense that this was coming. The problem is that all those who claim that they feel strongly against the whacko's on TV and Print won't vote. I hate the whacko's but I cannot possibly vote for this inept government again and I will vote. As much as I think that V.K Malhotra is an old coot, I can't vote for the party that gave us the crappy BRT - even though god knows what can be done with that stretch of road short of re-doing everything.
Anyway, back to the media now I guess. I'm just wondering how Ratan Tata and Bennett have kissed and made up a few short years after the Tata Finance fiasco. The only exclusives before the launch of the Gujju Nano were to ET and ToI. Makes you wonder really. As they say, there are no permanent friends or enemies in politics, maybe even Ratan Tata is a lot more pragmatic than people think. I mean the concept of 'Indian pragmatism' not business pragmatic - since the Jaguar-Land Rover is probably going to end up sinking Tata Motors, though apparently they could have even bought General Motors for the same amount of money going by yesterday's share price of GM. I wonder, GM's desi unit CEO, a Brit called Karl Slym is selling a three-year free service program for their cars here, I just don't think that there will be a GM in three years time. Heck, a hell of a lot of other companies won't be there in three years time.
Actually, the economic slowdown has put a cramp on the launch plans of several networks - apparently Triveni TV, the guys who just launched Voice of India TV are holding back on their lifestyle channel launch. Which is a good idea for a while, but what about all the people they hired for massive salaries? And how long will a channel hold on before cutting back staff for unviable channels? As it is appraisals in 2009 will be on the lower end of the scale. And a note to CNBC-TV18, I know that you guys have revamped your feature shows line-up - but isn't this a horrible time to have a show called 'Wealth Creators', nothing against Mitali, but the name of the show and the timing of its launch are a double whammy right now - and Rakesh Jhunjhunwala is not exactly a hero of the investing classes right now.

Not a Nano tale!

“"You cannot run a plant with police protection, you cannot run a plant when bombs are being thrown, you cannot run a plant when workers are being intimidated"
Ratan Tata, Kolkata, October 3, 2008


This is not an academic piece, but something I am writing based on my experiences of what I saw. I did not see the massive protests engineered by Mamta Banerjee and her cohorts – which surprisingly included the erudite and (I once thought) smart Derek O’Brein (If you are a industrial house, you might think about hiring him again - and given how RNT holds grudges, I doubt a Tata company will have him on their New Years cards list). I hope I’m proved wrong, but today’s announcement means that West Bengal has managed to shoot itself in the foot, actually shoot itself in both feet.

About six weeks ago, before the onset of Mamta Banerjee’s mad obsession to sit in Writers Building got the better of her, I went to the site of the now erstwhile Tata Nano plant in Singur. What I saw was a textbook example of a violent minority taking over the agenda. Listen, I am all for rabble-rousers, if we claim to be a vibrant democracy we need crackpots, because behind their ramblings and their incessant need to have television cameras pointing at them, they so make sense and they do stand up for people who may not have a voice otherwise. Yes, even Arundhati Roy, who makes me wince just as much as Sarah Palin makes others wince.
But Mamta had virtually no locus standi, because, and this bit is true, I will narrate a bit from my rather memorable meeting with Bacharam Manna, Mamta’s local leader at the site also the vice-chairperson the Singur Administrative Block. Now, I wish I could narrate this in my probashi Bangla, and even have Manna’s rustic accent, but you will have to imagine…

“So you will protest?”
“We will protest even if we have to celebrate Durga Puja on the highway.”
“But why protest? I’ve seen local Trinamool leaders support the project because they are making money through the ‘syndicate’?”
(Note: The ‘syndicate’, was a group of local men, mainly displaced farmers from Beraberi, the main panchayat impacted by the Nano project – 70 per cent of the land was from this village – who put together the funds from the land and started supplying the constructors of the Nano plant with construction equipment, even though it was often illegally mined sand and rocks. And as many of these guys told me, they made a killing, much more money than they ever would have from the land.)
“So what? We don’t want this kind of industry.”
“So you want this area to stay poor?”
“No we want industry.”
“Huh?”
“Not this kind of industry, we want agricultural-led industry”
“What sort of agricultural industry, food processing?”
“There are a lot of potatoes that grow here, in Russia they make Vodka from potatoes, we will make Vodka!”
(Eiyekhane anok aloo hoye, tumi ki jano Russia te oora aloo theke Vodka banaye. Amaraoo eiyekhane Vodka banabo! – that is as good a transliteration I can make)


Now, this really happened.
I kid you not, this really happened. I know that journalists should rarely be trusted, but I’m not lying. I might lie about running late for meetings or to girls on why I stood them up, but that is a guy thing.

I have done some strange interviews in my career, and until August my strangest episode had been interviewing (hardly) Vijay Mallya in the Andaman Sea off Havelock Island (I mean ‘IN’ the sea with waves crashing around and various Swimsuit models skipping around) but as far as surreal sentences go, this one is one of them that really takes you aback (Ironic that I managed to bring up Vijay Mallya when I thought of Vodka – instant association). This is one of the answers that make you sit back on a ratty old chair and try and rummage your brain for a response.

And mine was…

“But nowadays most Vodka is made from grain…”
(Kintu aajkal beshibhag Vodka gom theke hoye – not exactly Katie Couric interviewing Sarah Palin)

“What are you saying?”
“I’m serious”
“But in Russia, they do it that way.”
“I don’t think they make too much Vodka from potatoes”

The next few minutes of the interview was on the relative merits of Vodka, where I couldn’t really argue. I mean, I like a good Vodka Martini just as much as the next bloke, well maybe not in this case, but sometimes you just get thrown a curveball. So, this guy actually suggested that the car be given up for booze, maybe there was some sense there – get smashed so you don’t need to go out in the first place. But then again we live in a country where there is still a ‘Directorate of Prohibition’, what can you say.

Back to the point, I really did meet many, many people who supported the project, and not on the main road, I bothered to drive through some really terrible roads and met villagers across the affected villages. Yes, occasionally you met people who did not support the project and wanted their land back.
While at least one anchor on television lamented the fate of Buddha, I think the arrogance of the Communists in power is responsible for the crisis. In most other states – just look at Tamil Nadu for an excellent example – antagonist political forces can align themselves to develop industry. The Indian Communist movement is marked by a disturbing streak of arrogance, and the refusal of the West Bengal government to involve the opposition from the very beginning meant that the project was going to face roadblocks.
Not that Mamta is any heroine – her primordial urge to win votes using the land bogey will boomerang, since Mamta’s vote-base is in the cities. Bengal needed investment and on the road past rajarhat in Kolkata you see some signs of progress, but if you look at Howrah from the Ghats near Vidyasagar Setu, you see an industrial wasteland, which is also the most tragic thing of taking the Rajdhani to Kolkata. Kolkata’s fate is almost as bad of the industrial towns in Northern England. The people just won’t stay, my ten year old cousin already knows he won’t live in Kolkata, my 16-year old sister is already plotting her escape. The tragedy with democracy, some say is that it gets you the politicians you deserve, sadly Bengal got idealistic thinkers and louts and not go-getters. No much people might celebrate Jyoti Basu, he was the worst thing to happen to Bengal ever, and it takes a lot to be considered worse than Mamta Banerjee.
But I really didn’t believe that the project would be derailed, and the ironic bit is in all probability the project will head over to a BJP-ruled state – Gujarat, Karnataka or Uttarakhand. I know that little factoid is incidental, but then again…

Again...

I publish most comments rather freely, but some do cross the line and frankly I do get rather bored on certain issues - like bitching out XYZ, though I'll carry on bitching out the BRT and now the Ministry of External Affairs and any government department which insist that you need to have an account in a nationalised bank to get any other government documentation. WTF? Don't all banks have the same KYC norms, so why on earth insist that I need a State Bank account to verify my address. Pricks!
OK, so I spent half a day at the Regional Passport Office for no rhyme or reason today and couldn't get my work of getting a passport renewal with a new address. I'm frikking exhausted and with work adding to the pressure, things like today morning don't help.

And to explain why I hate ecomentalists - see a decade ago those guys were going on about how Nuclear power will be the end of the world and forced several governments to stop work on civilian Nuclear plants. And today we have a delightful CO2 crisis created by the coal-fired plants that came up instead and the mentalists will now hug lumps of U-235 if they had to, but they deprived many countries across the world of two decades or more of CO2 free power. Not that Nuclear energy is clean. No energy is clean, but if the world wants to make a difference to global warming, they should take it easy on eating cows.

The same with the BRT, the amount of pollution the BRT has added by increasing wait times (and don't expect people to switch off engines in summer - AC's don't work when the engine is off) pales in comparison to the 'benefits' of better public transport. I agree that deaths on the BRT would have happened anyway - jaywalkers and mad motorcycle drivers will always find ways of dying. Anyway, to ease the pain of those who think I'm the only blogger railing against the BRT (and I don't stay in GK-1 E,M,N,S and W Blocks whose roads are crumbling due to the loads put on them by traffic diverting away from the BRT) do a search for 'BRT Delhi' on Google Blogsearch.

Anyway, I will carry on about travels et al., until I move away from this blog to a new home online which is coming, albeit I will add the term 'shortly' which could mean anywhere between the next three-four months. It is kind of like the Tata Nano. Y'know, a car that is coming soon? I know a newspaper or TV channel can't say it, but I've been covering the automotive sector for a while yet, and I have a conspiracy theory running in my head. I saw the Tata plant in Singur about three weeks ago and it did not look like a plant that was "80% ready" by any stretch of imagination. I don't believe that Mr Tata's 'Dream' is ready or anywhere near completion as yet. Yes, some photographs have been taken, but Tata Motors reaction is strangely calm. Maybe I've just read far too many Internet conspiracy theories, and please do call me mad, but I don't think the Nano is ready.

And if the car gets delayed (whether the plant moves from Singur or not), what are the bets that Ratan Tata will price it for Rs 1.2 lakhs and blame the excess Rs 20,000 on Mamata Banerjee?

Don't get me wrong, I want the Nano to be made, despite my doubts about safety - because if we can allow a car as patently unsafe as the Reva to be sold (that's an idea allow Reva's on the BRT lanes to be crushed by DTC buses - I'm a genius!) in India, the Nano can't be any worse. In fact, it can only be better. But, the Tata's have a habit of making horrible first versions - the Estate, Sierra, Safari and Indica all come to mind and I just have a feeling that they don't want to cock-up here. So they don't want to rush a launch and Mamata conveniently helped them (also ref my point above on price). As a fellow-Bong journo a bit older than me, and far better versed on Bong culture said - maybe Tata Motors learnt from a classic Satyajit Ray movie.

But I do have one comment to make on media coverage about the Nano, until the national media got in on the act, the coverage coming from Calcutta felt awfully politically tinged. And as the ToI stringer in Singur, a great chap called Falguni explained to me, there has been a hell of a lot of bad and often wrong reportage. Reporters sitting in Calcutta used to get SMSes from 'sources' in Singur block and write stuff rather blindly. The 'bombs' thrown at the plant were a few Diwali crackers tied together. There was no 'Flag planting' or 'Wall Damage', and until recently the voices of the majority were being drowned out by the mad woman's shrieks.

I'll be honest, the parochial Bong in me wants the Tata Nano to work out, so conspiracy theories aside, I do want the Nano to do well and I do want West Bengal to do well again. I have no love lost for the Communist movement in India because they are hipocrites but they refuse to realise that fact, but I think that in a dogfight between Mamata Banerjee and the Communists, I'd support the Communists.

And to clarify a point - Arnab hates the BJP as much as all people who learnt their trade on the knee of Prannoy Roy. But unlike the other channels, and this is why Times Now got a 'threat', the channel doesn't pander slavishly to the minorities. Sure urbane, liberal tendencies make them do that as well, but not to the extent on other channels where I sometimes think some presenters and anchors are rather embarrassed of their religion. Pity, actually since belief isn't such a bad thing. maybe they should watch the 'Story of India'.

The beeb got the Nano!

The first story with the Tata Nano in action did not end up going to an Indian news organisation it seems.

More Nano!

I have not even attempted to go to the Auto Expo since Thursday, the crowds coming to this Expo, 10 years after RNT unveiled the Indica at the same venue are beating all records and those silly protesters sitting outside, screaming and shouting have finally realised that the Indian middle classes do not give a damn, and nor does the media, because the media feeds off the middle classes. R.K Pachauri and Sunita Narain are keeping so quiet, it isn't funny. Yes, there are the couple of mails they fire off, but the fantastic PR job that the Tata's PR agency- Vaishnavi have pulled off needs to be complemented. Even more so, other than the stark raving mad British media, who are more concerned about losing more of their industrial empire (built on India's money, mind you) to India, even though I think the Jaguar and Land Rover deals are not that great for the Tata's, but that is a different kettle of fish.
Let's not get too caught up, shall we? Honestly, until one drives the Nano, no-one will know how good or bad it will be. It could be pathetic for all you know. I do not expect it to be very exciting since no Tata Motors product is, the Indica being very ordinary to say the least. Big inside, but not exciting, involving or anything of the sort, maybe with the new Fiat engine it could be, but...
Back to the media, Triveni Infrastructures, a Delhi-based construction company of rather, can't quite find the correct adjective here to describe them, but they are not a DLF, Unitech, Omaxe and Parsvanath. Won't call them shady, but there have been some not-so-encouraging stories. Now, these guys want to get into the media and some people who have sidelined in other media groups have joined them. A good-looking guy from an English channel has joined them as channel head and told me that they will beat NDTV Good Times. Fair enough, not that the mark is quite high, but he also added that these guys will come out with a lifestyle publication next year. Wow!
No experience in media, but you've got some deadwood and paying them lots of money, including signing bonuses in cash (no tax), well, I would be more than a bit suspect. I am pretty sure they will start but as other channels recently have proven, no matter how much money you throw, you are not guaranteed success, and how do I know that the channel is not going to become a giant advertorial.. for bungalows. If it starts, that is.
I don't know, but I am still rather scepital about this particular channel. I know that NewsX will eventually start in one form or another, but this one? Let's wait and watch TV, Nat Geo maybe.

I was there!

You've seen the pictures of the car, but I'll be posting some images of the madness that ensued before and after the launch. It is a miracle I managed to shove my way inside while fists and abuses were thrown at the entrance into the press conference and while going in a Vaishnavi (Tata's PR company) rep managed to tell me that there were some 1100 journalists inside. I have never seen so many cameras or camerapersons in my life, and if I ever thought that people whose job it is capturing images worked in wolf packs, today was the day.

About the car, it is rather cute and I will reserve judgement until I drive one, but I will admit that it is a fantastic piece of engineering. I don't know how much money Tata Motors will make on the car, but that is a question for another day. About Sunita Narain and R K Pachauri's comments on congestion and pollution, while valid stink of elitism I am afraid. People will protest against this car, but they should instead go after factories, after diesel generator sets and so much more. The problem with Indian greenies is that by protesting against the wrong things, they tend to lose goodwill. Remind me to cancel my subscription to Greenpeace. Don't go after people's aspirations guys, you lose goodwill. Tell people to consume more smartly, and tell our government to spend more wisely and not allow unfettered development, but mobility and communications are the wrong things to go after.

To quote Mr Tata on the Indian consumer...

"... he will aspire for more and as prosperity improves, that aspiration will be there for more and more people, suddenly it seems like that there is a quarter of our society that seems to grudge those people that improvement in quality of their lives based on inadequate infrastructure, based on pollution, based on congestion and you wonder if that part of society has the right to determine for the rest of society..."

By the way, really liked RNT's bit where he thanked the West Bengal government and he came this close to calling Mamata names. And also, I wonder if Apple Computer will sue Tata on the 'Nano' brand, but the Tata's are a big group so they would have gone through the legal issues.

Anyway, here are some of the promised pics and guys chill out on the pro and anti 9X talk. I have some interesting stuff on the new Triveni channel tomorrow.

The crowd at the launch, though a majority were journalists, there were also suppliers and other officials. In fact, the entire Tata group was there in strength.

The car on display, this is the standard version, no AC or radio and with a sticker price of Rs 1,00,000 which translates to Rs 1,30,000 on-road in Delhi, a 70K

The press conference hall was full of desi and non-desi journos!

Debasis Ray, Tata Motors PR chief conducts the press conference.