Friday, September 16, 2005

Sex, slease and the magazines...

After stuffing myself with the most delectable sushi and sashami for lunch, I came back to office to find two very strange things screaming at me. The covers of India Today and Outlook which were screaming SEX. Well, they were screaming 'SEX and the woman', both trying to prove through rather limited surveys of under 2000 women in metros. Now, while I love demolishing surveys, I remember a survey that some PR agency had handed a former colleague of mine which drew conclusions on mobile users on a 100 respondent base. But, lets see the India Today survey, according to it 24% of all its respondents claim to have been in a sexual relationship, and these are all single women between the ages of 18-29 or something like that. Now, while I know many girls and guys don't have sex till after college, either this survey was done in parts of the city which are 'prude central', or I have gotten a very strange idea of the sexuality of Indian women. I'm no expert on the ladies, let me assure you of that, but for gods sake, young girls (I mean girls my age) are far more aggro than before, even in bed.
Anyway, now to go on. So only a quarter of the women surveyed admitted to having sex, eh? Which means that all the foreplay related questions, after-sex questions and 'adventure' sex questions were answered by 450 women. Now, lets see of these girls , four percent were kinky enough to have sex on a train, three percent claimed they were regular lesbians, 15 percent did it in a car (Piece of advice : Don't try to do it in a small car unless you're a dwarf, because your back will get screwed, spend the dough and go somewhere). And here is the shocker - Will you marry a man who admits to having sex with another woman (and I guess all 1800 were eligible here) - Noes took this 71 to 18. I'll be honest over here, I don't think there are too many men (unless they're nerds) who haven't done it by the time they get married. Now, that said, I would be genuinely surprised if I end up marrying a girl who is a virgin. And really nor do I want to. Its useful to have someone with past luggage as well, because that makes all your sinning more acceptable. I don't think I'ld like to hear that, "I wasn't the one doing it in restrooms in Paris" during a fight. So marry someone with a past, preferably a kinky one. But of course I'm not getting married anytime soon.
Now, India Today also did a survey of 450 men. While men are generally more open about their sexual preferences, "I'ld hit her anyday" is standard fare at any bar, this weird result really got me thinking. According to this survey, only 69 percent of men mastrubate (as against of 18 per cent of women). Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? Who the hell are these great 31 percent of men who have never spanked the monkey. I really want to know if there are actually even 150 men in this country between the ages of 18-29 who have not jacked off. I'm amazed. These guys either have extremely low testosterone levels or amazing self control.
And this is just one of the magazines, I am yet to even read the Outlook story carefully. I assume it will be as funny, they had a pic of a gigolo on the cover. Should be good comedy reading over the weekend. Anyway, if you doubt the underlying sexual perverseness in this nation, check out this forum.
On another note, the evil communists (not Buddha, who is a good communist) who should all be packed off to Pyongyang and live in a mad Marxist state. maybe they'll feel happy. Why are they trying to stop airport privatisation, what the hell will they achieve, why do they want us to live in Communist-manna which is poverty? Fucking idiots. And to make matters worse, half of them are Bengalis. Thank god that Manmohan Singh, Mrs G:Redux and PeePee have the balls to take them on on this (but not on Retail FDI, which is bad for consumers) and have decided to privatise the airports anyway. Now if they could only do something about the approach road to Mumbai's international terminal.
Tomorrow is the last day of Gaan-Party, so I expect total chaos in this city. Its raining, the trains are crowded and I still have to buy a mirror. Not missing the telly news channels much though. Other than that Ganguly bit.

8 comments:

Bonatellis said...

I hear Outlook is coming out with a new business magazine .... is it true???

Shivangi said...

I know Outlook is definately coming out with a women's magazine within the next 5-6 months.
As for these surveys, they're as fudged as tossed salad. Talk about the top 10 college surveys conducted year after year by india today... And that particular edition is very carefully floated in the market during DU admissions.
"I would be genuinely surprised if I end up marrying a girl who is a virgin. And really nor do I want to. Its useful to have someone with past luggage as well, because that makes all your sinning more acceptable. I don't think I'ld like to hear that, 'I wasn't the one doing it in restrooms in Paris' during a fight. " This ones right out of the horse's mouth it seems. But very aptly put... I couldnt stop laughing its so true! Serious!!! :)

K said...

Both magazines are supposedly coming out in early 2006, or so media planners tell me. I don't know about the women's magazine for sure (planned as a monthly maybe mid-2006), but the business magazine will be mix of corporate and lifestyle news and will NOT be a weekly. Most prob fortnightly.

thalassa_mikra said...

Sex on train kinky? I thought that was the most common form of public sex that Indian couples indulge in. I mean, I've seen couples who look like your average mesho-mashima insist on snuggling into the same berth together, accompanied by a massive blanket even in blistering heat.

And yes, much as I would like to convince myself that Bong communists are coming to their senses, there are some that remain in a lalaland of their own making. But the worst of the lot, the terrible trio of Sitaram, Prakash and D Raja are not Bongs (even though one was married to a Bong for a while).

tony said...

hey K, after all the Techy blogs and MBA blogs, what a welcomin change to read journo blogs..Quite interesting to be seeing the journos grapevine too.. I would like to know ur views on Mr IIPM's business mag..What is he doing with that anyway?

Any links to other jounos' blogs...

Anonymous said...

69 + 31 = 110

s

Soumyadip said...

I too want to know who that remainder 31% are. I don't seem to know any of them (does any one out here know one?). Liars may be.

And talking of Sex in the Mag, it seems that it is that time of the year when the editors (including Mr. Mehta's beloved pet) are on the heat.

K said...

69+31=100
-k-