Psst - Wanna Blowjob?

I'm just asking for trouble with this post... But, what the heck.
Outlook is launching a new business magazine on April 10. The magazine will be a fortnightly and likely be priced at Rs 10 (no suprises there EDIT - It appears it will be Rs 25 per issue). So, the bsuiness magazine space in India will now have four national newsmagazines - don't even argue that Ponytail's magazine is respectable - its like a petulant 14-year old who think of themselves as a 'wannabe slut'. Which is why no-one talks to them. Not that too many people talk to the three magazines that are around anyway. I'm sorry to say this, but the business media in India unfortunately are like prostitutes, no actually make that all the media in India are like prostitutes, usually no better than the ones you find on Kennedy Bridge. They're not as bad as the automotive media in India because those folks (all eight of them) go up to the guys they write about who are also their primary source of advertising (the car and bike companies) and say, "Listen we'll roll over spread out and you can take us up the ass. No, don't just do that, take us up the ass with a 18-inch dildo.. Rip our ass cheeks apart." (And the lifestyle and film media are equally bad) No, business media isn't that bad, they only give blowjobs.
But, are they the only ones.... No, the entire set-up of the desi media sometimes looks like a cheap whorehouse on GB Road.
Now, lets look at the set-up of the whore house that is the Indian media - there is the big madam, an 'Old Lady' - which doesn't do it with just anybody and if she does it, the price she charges is a pound of flesh, Shylock style, but she usually steers clear of cheap paying politicians. Now, the other parts of the media aren't as bad - and I'm not even stepping onto TV-toes here. But the other major newspapers also bend over, but they also have good taste, the problem is that many of them have diseases which they caught from their favourite customers - for example a large South Indian lady has "Communitis", a very dangerous disease, but nowadays because of a radical new treatment (power at the centre) it is more invigourated than ever. Many national news organisations (more than we can count - and it requires a lot of courage) suffer from "MadamAssLickitis"which has meant that they spent so much time up 10 Janpath's backside that they have lost all sense of objectivity. And of course there are news organisations that have lost all sense altogether having slept with so many people.
And then there is the other wing - where the ladies don't sit spread-eagled waiting for people to do them hard. No, this section, known as "Only BJ's" (Hey, everyone needs a trademark) is far more pleasurable - come on, a good BJ is better than bad sex. (By the way, there is also a sado-maschochistic section but thats where the automotive and lifestyle types sit). Now to give you a demonstration of how good the BJ's are once in a while, a business publication recently decided to suck off MDA, who cares if MDA didn't want to be sucked off, they gave him a proxy BJ. It also helps if by giving the BJ, the client also calls you for 'house calls' once in a while.
Of course, the ladies in the pink of health give the best blowjobs of the lot. If the client doesn't like it, they'll even give a refund, not just to the client but also to the person who holds up the clients tattas (the PR agency). Of course, sometimes things do tend to go a bit bad, the 'Old Lady' still curses her 'lil sister for biting one of her clients balls off, forcing that client into the arms of other ladies of the night. And sometimes, the roles get reversed, with the better ones a role-reversal happens more often than not nowadays, but sometimes they end up giving free blowjobs because a higher-up wants to please 'somebody'.
But still, while we talk of how energetic and free our media is, most of the Indian media is beholden to vested interests from one place or another. Its quite frustrating at times to work in such an environment, but you learn to accept it and live with it. Which is why I sometimes like the freedom that blogs afford me, so what if I bitch out people once in a while. I would like to clarify that I have no agendas on this blog nor am I playing political games of any sort, especially in organisations I have no connection to. I sometimes say things that I should be a bit more discreet about, but then again, those of you who know me know that I talk a lot.
Anyways... I wonder how Outlook's new product will look? Its always good to welcome a new girl to the whorehouse.
DISCLAIMER : Yes, I know this post sounds awfully sexist and chauvanistic. The analogies are meant to illustrate a point, and nothing more than that.
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