Shubho Bijoya

Well, it was that time of year all over again, when the unwashed masses or rather masses who don’t understand what a deodorant is, despite the television telling them that applying said deo, usually with an extremely silly name will get them laid, came near my house. And have now left, for which I am eternally grateful – Shubho Bijoya to me means the end of the crowds – which is why it is a good day. The masses generally honked their horns a lot, groped the occasional other person (this, as someone tried to explain to me isn’t sexual it just is well, Indian, because we like ‘feeling’ other people. Really now?) and picked the odd wallet. The Puja being a curious side-show run by middle-aged Bengali women who don’t work giving them their one chance in a year to act important.
It isn’t as if I’m not religious, but the rampant commercialization of the Puja – four pandals I saw were lead sponsored by – a betting company (bwin, the guys who sponsor Real Madrid); Coca-Cola; some random deodorant company with a skimpily clad woman on the poster (we are worshipping ‘Ma’ here, remember) and some other random mutual-fund company, maybe the guys who call me up five times a day trying to sell me a plan.
Surprising isn’t it, but at a level we actually celebrate misogyny in this country or at least under the ‘modern’ anti-imperialistic religion that we follow, which kind of dilutes the ‘maryada’ and ‘sabhyata’ arguments that are thrown at you by whackos sometimes. Of course, you can argue that I belong to whacko school as well, but the guys who belong to whacko school really are people who put stupid ring-tones and worse call-back tones. And of course people who defend a child-rapist on the grounds that he makes good movies.
Surprising isn’t it? The Americans all said and done, pursue a rapist for over thirty years and then spring a trap on him that has given many people across the world a massive moral dilemma. And we desperately try to bury a case so that a large pasta dinner can be enjoyed at 10 Janpath. Makes you wonder if Mayawati really does have a decent point. Even though, a college friend from Lucknow argues that the massive parks are great places to go for walks and get stoned every evening. I really didn’t know that UP politicians were chasing the stoner vote-bank. It is a bad idea to rely on stoners for votes, as successive college elections prove. The guys like sleeping. And I should know.
Anyway, the reason for my tardiness lately has been a Gym, I’m too tired to frikking think. Well, not quite, but I’ve been watching a bit of cricket on the side and really haven’t had the time. No wait, actually I’m just making excuses, I’ve been lazy. Period. That, and some other stuff.

Mayawati.

You can't help but be impressed with what Mayawati has pulled off in Uttar Pradesh, a clear majority in a state where people thought that clear majorities disappeared with the Babri Masjid. But, the question is how did everybody get their exit polls so spectacularly wrong?
One defense goes that some parties encourage their workers to be bullish in Exit Polls, but that does not really cut it. Everywhere else in the world, Exit Polls are more or less a proxy for the actual result, but everywhere else in the world they don't have so many voters over such a widespread area. Though I don't buy the defense, remember the time when UndieTV was still Star News, their Exit Polls were pretty much on the ball. Nowadays, everybody gets them wrong.
While I do not disagree with the concept of Exit Polls, I believe the amount of competition between channels has led to a pretty crazy situation where everybody is trying to trump everybody else. The problem is that the electorate has unerringly managed to trump every exit poll over the last few years.
The solution?
I see one clear option, it is unpalatable to several channels, but I believe that there should be some sort of co-operation, I mean a joint Exit Poll between say most of the major channels. But you see since the editors are too busy having sex, I doubt that will ever happen. But it is an idea, right?
But, I hope sincerely that Mayawati can pick Uttar Pradesh out of the doldrums and put it back into the spotlight. The state has suffered from a decade and a half of coalition politics and according to the last available statistics had a horrible infant mortality rate of 85 deaths per 1000 births and the that is just one part, other statistics make for equally grim reading. UP, for most Delhi-ites is Noida, but UP is not Noida. UP is a lot more and I hope the state can become a lot more than just a place that provides us corrupt politicians and bureaucrats!